Once Again
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: Love. Longing. Uncertainty. Hope. Faith. And an unthinkable yearning to meet Justin again. That is life for Alex. *JALEX* An emotional, intense tale of losing and loving. Completed.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

She shoots up in her bed with a scream, taking in deep, desperate gulps of air in her attempt to breath. Her eyes dart around her room, trying to find safety in the familiar mess all around and the pink fur wallpaper, trying to assure herself that all this was just a dream, that none of this is real.

Her walls are blue, sky blue, her room neat and tidy, a study desk in the center of it, as if in spotlight, piles of books stacked up neatly on top of it.

And the tears leave her eyes, a sob and a howl escaping from her mouth, as she remembers that _this_ is real. Those are dreams, dreams from her past- _her past life. _

* * *

**Love- the truest feeling in the world, the greatest emotion of human heart; love- the most powerful weapon in the whole world. **

**When it's real, it has the power to win over storms and volcanoes and earthquakes. It can force nature to bend all its rules, to do the unthinkable. **

**When lovers are estranged by death, they are united by life. Magic sends them into this world again, in a different form, at a different place, with everything different around them.**

**The quest for uniting with love begins ****once again. **

* * *

Her mother runs into her room, pulling her head close to her chest, and hugging her tightly. "Another nightmare?"

"Yes." She barely whispers back. For her, it is real- it is everything that ever mattered to her, it is more important than life itself. For them, these are merely nightmares, nothing else. They don't understand- none of them do.

* * *

She had tried explaining to them when she saw a black haired boy with hazel eyes in her dream and shot up in her bed crying for no reason. They laughed; they said she was just dreaming of her 'dream guy'.

She believed them; she dismissed the thoughts off as well. But the dream kept coming back, prolonging, expanding, torturing her in different ways.

And finally, when she froze in the middle of the staircase in her school, afraid to take the next step, afraid that she would fall down if she did, she understood these were too real to be not real.

She saw herself painting in her dreams. She tried drawing the images in her notebook to show everyone else what she dreamt. She failed. She wasn't a good painter anymore; she had lost that talent as she lost her life.

She had sat back down on her bed, clutching the papers close to her chest, crying in defeat. There was nothing else she could do to make them believe. They will never believe her.

* * *

"Honey, relax, your math test will be great tomorrow." Her mother whispers softly into her hair, gently rocking her, as her father stands in the doorway, watching her with concern. "You will get an A, just like last term."

She nods and pulls back, getting off the bed, splashing cold water on her face, washing the tears away, and returns to her bed, assures her mother that she will be all right, turns off the light again, and pretends to go back to sleep.

When her parents are finally convinced that she is asleep and they leave, she slowly sits back up in her bed, holding her face in her hands, ready to take the defeat.

The darkness of the room horrifies her, but it isn't just the darkness. It's **everything**. This isn't **her **room. This isn't her thing. This isn't where she belongs. This isn't who she is. **This isn't Alex Russo. **

"You have a math test tomorrow." She reminds herself, whispering softly, as if someone can hear her. Even after living 16 years in this house, in this life, in this body, she isn't sure, she isn't safe. **This isn't her place**…. "You need to rest."

She clutches her teddy bear closer to her chest, thinking of the hundred and one times when Theresa had asked her to study, to practice math, to take education more seriously. She wishes she could just run to her, hug her tightly and tell her that she is sorry. She wishes she still had magic and could turn back time, to get back to her childhood again, to live her life all over again, to study hard, to listen to her mother, to make up for every wrong thing she did, to NEVER EVER skip steps again, and hopefully not die this time. She wishes she could run to Theresa and show her every single 'A' she has earned in this lifetime. She pictures the scene in her mind, and sees her mother's happy tears and proud smile.

But she knows this will never happen. She knows she can never see Theresa again- she lives too far away. **This is another country. This is another life. **

Sometimes she wonders how her mother had reacted to her death, how her father had coped up with the loss of his child.

And she wonders how Justin had felt.

_Justin_… her lips quiver as she merely takes his name, her body shaking in utter defeat. She wonders what had happened after her death. She wonders if he went home and came running back again as soon as he heard about her death. She wonders how long he cried.

Does he still cry for her? Does he remember her? Does he miss her? Is he thinking about her at this very moment? Does he love her? Did he ever love her?

She buries her head in the pillow, shaking it violently. Why didn't she ask him? **Why? Why? Why? **Now, no matter what she does, it's too late- she will never know.

Her mind ponders over all her questions for a few more moments. Everything about her past life has a big question mark attached to it. She will never ever find answers to these questions… she will never ever see them again.

Sometimes she wonders how her family is doing now. She wonders where her parents are, if they are still living alone and separated, or if they married again. She wonders where Max is, if he became smart yet.

And she tries not to think about Justin's life. Emphasis on the word tries. Because as soon as she does, she sees a hundred pictures of him in his mid-thirties, sitting in a restaurant with a beautiful blond (sometimes brunette, sometimes red-head, what's the difference?)

She tells herself that he is there, that he is hers, that he is waiting.

But she knows she will _probably_ never ever see him again, and she tries not to think about that. Again, emphasis on the word tries.

This life is new, it's different, it's difficult.

This life is uncertain- but this life has hope. She looks out of the window at the moon, wondering if Justin is looking at it at the same time as well. She binds her heart with hope and faith, and repeats her promise from her past life. Those words are like an oath to her, it's like a magic spell, it's her strength, it's everything to her- it's the reason she is living right now. "_**I will wait for you Justin." **_

**Love. Longing. Uncertainty. Hope. Faith. And an unthinkable yearning to meet Justin again. That is life for Alex. **

* * *

(A/N: **This is a sequel to 'the world blurred', but you don't need to read that to understand this. Just know that, Alex died in that one and is reborn again.** I know most of you don't believe in reincarnation, but this is fiction people, so please don't be offended. This is a theme that has not been done this way before, and I have a clear idea of what I want with this. **Judging by my writing skills, I think this is my best?** I actually cried while writing this. (I NEVER cry while writing)… I don't know, it got me all emotional, lol. **Yes, I am back into my quality of writing. I am sick of my own bad writings. LOL**. **This story is VERY special to me, and I genuinely want to make it bigger than "Dollhouse."** **PLEASE leave me a review and tell me if you like this!)**


	2. Ch 1: No regrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own wowp. **

**IMPORTANT: I am pretty sure I confused all of you with this fic. Feel free to ask me questions in a review or a PM =) **

**Chapter 1: No regrets**

* * *

Her alarm rings at 6 am and wakes her up from her sweet dreams full of Justin. She resists the urge to hit the Snooze button and return to him again. It is only in dreams that she can physically be with him. After all, they live oceans apart now. It is only in dreams that Justin is her age, for years have passed after her death, and she knows by now he is in his thirties.

His birthday was last week. She bought a book for him and carefully hid in between her vast collection of books. (Yes, in this life she reads.) Yes, she is aware that she is not with him now, but she has her hopes high that someday she will be, and then, she will give him all the birthday presents that she is currently storing.

Currently, there are 3 books in her stock- one book for every year she remembers him. Yes, **she remembered her past life just three years back**. (That is kind of why she ended up being a geek in this life, duh!)

* * *

At breakfast table, she sits with her journal. She started writing about her Prince Charming 4 years back, 4 years back when she still wasn't Alex Russo, 4 years back when she didn't remember anything. She used to write about magic and castles and every mushy thing possible. Her nose scrunches up in disgust now. Alex Russo hated sappy things. This Alex does too.

**It's a wonder how her present life parents also named her Alex, but yeah, that's not the biggest miracle you have seen in your life if you are reborn again, so you kind of stop thinking about it. **

She flips the page of her journal, reading every single line carefully. This is what she had wanted her romantic life to be till 4 years back. Right now, when she remembers that Justin Russo and Alex Russo were nothing like she, she is not sure why she even wrote all that bullshit.

* * *

She gets dressed up for school, packs all her books properly, and does her hair in a neat, tidy ponytail, putting on her dark-rimmed spectacles. (Yes, she is considering taking lenses.) She glances at her face in the mirror, carefully observing her eyes, her cheeks, her lips. **She looks still the same**. She still looks like Alex Russo. Her family will recognize her, won't they?

Justin had mentioned to her that 7 people in this world can have the same face. She ignores the fear that her parents will think she's just an Alex Russo look-a-like. Pssh, since when did she start taking Justin's words seriously?

She stares at herself for a few more moments. **Apart from her memories, her face is the only thing she has left from her past life.** She loves her face more than anything.

* * *

The first thing she faces at school is hundreds of letters cluttered in her locker, loads of insults in each of them. Yes, this Alex is bullied for being a nerd. She is used to it by now though, this happens before every test. Three years back, this Alex was emotional, sensitive, a baby. She used to cry when she was bullied.

This is Alex Russo they are dealing with now. Alex Russo doesn't cry for being bullied by people!

She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. Yes, sometimes she feels vulnerable, weak. Sometimes she wonders why her current life is so messed up. She wonders what she might have done to make her present life so miserable.

**Sin. Sin. Sin.**

She tries not to think of her incestuous thoughts. She is not ashamed of her feelings for Justin. She doesn't care if she is suffering for her sins. She wipes the tears from the corner of her eyes and throws the letters in the dustbin.

**Alex does not regret falling in love with Justin. **

* * *

Her Math test goes great, and she is beaming with delight. She sits near a window in her school bus, thinking to herself. (Yes, she does a lot of thinking now. But that's because Justin only dwells in her thoughts and dreams now. Thinking keeps her close to Justin.)

She got the factorial questions right today. She smiles proudly. Justin would have been so proud of her today. He is the one who had taught her that, after all. (In the past life, of course. But she remembers everything related to Justin. Yes, even studies.)

She still remembers the trouble Justin had gone through to teach her factorials.

"_Justin, why did you give an exclamation mark after 5?" Alex asked, propping her leg on the coffee table._

_Justin stared at her in disbelief. "That's 5 __**factorial**__!" he cried. _

_She scoffed, glaring at him. "Oh please, do you think I am _that_ stupid? I know an exclamation mark at least!" _

_He shook his head in defeat. "This is Math, Alex."_

_A sarcastic snort. "Really? I thought this was history." _

Her smile grows wide as she goes over this memory, and she can see her schoolmates staring at her.

She shrugs. "I was just thinking about my math test."

They snort and look away. Of course they buy it! This Alex is a geek, remember?

* * *

She reaches her home, and sits down with her new journal.

"_Dear Justin,_

_You'd be happy to know that I did great in my Math test today. Oh, I can't wait to rub it in your face until I get tired of it! Oh who am I kidding? I will never get tired of it! XD"_

She hides her journal again and smiles, ignoring the harsh truth at the back of her mind, the bitter fear that she may never see him again. "I can't wait to see you Justin."

* * *

(A/N: Sorry it was short. I was just trying to explain the situation better. The next chapters will be longer and more jalex-y. **Please review!) **


	3. Ch 2: Destiny?

**Disclaimer: I do not own WOWP.**

**Chapter 2: destiny?**

* * *

**A few weeks later… **

She finds herself sitting in the balcony of her house, her cell phone in her hand, her fingers dialing the number she is all too familiar with. She presses the phone to her ear, watches the birds fly in groups, and listens to the 'This number does not exist' once again. Tears roll down her cheeks, as she tries not to think why her mother's number is disconnected. Maybe she moved some place else because she couldn't live there with all of Alex's memories? Maybe she simply changed her number?

**(She. Is. Not. Dead. Shut. Up. Stupid. Voice. At. The. Back. Of. The. Head.)**

She calls her mother almost every day. Today is different though. Today her heart is aching for her father as well, her fingers itching to dial his number. She gives in to her Alex-Russo-impulsive side and ends up calling her father for the first time in the three years since she remembered. The phone rings, and her heart skips a beat.

**(Justin. Will. Not. Answer. The. Call. She. Will. Not. Break. Down.) **

Someone finally answers the call. "Hello?"

She drops her phone on the ground in shock….

Is that Theresa's voice? Theresa got back together with Jerry? They are together-together? Wow… she had wanted it all her Alex-Russo-life, and this happens after she dies? Really? Unfair much?

She runs to her room, not even bothering to pick up the phone, and sinks to her bed. (**Freaking. Happy. Tears.) **

**

* * *

**

**Two weeks later**, and she dials the number again. This time, when her mother answers, she presses the phone closer to her ears and closes her eyes. She is listening to her mother's voice after freaking 17 years!

"Hello?" Theresa repeats again.

A sob escapes her lips.

It's quiet for the next few minutes, until Theresa speaks again. "A-Alex?"

Her voice is low, unsure, uncertain, fearful and hopeful at the same time. Of course she recognized her daughter's sob!

Her sob turns into powerful, passionate wailing, and she breaks down on the phone.

"It's you, isn't it Alex?" Theresa almost yells in anticipation, desperate to know that it is indeed her daughter on the other end of the phone.

She keeps quiet, just cries and cries and cries. Even crying on her phone to her mother is comforting.

"Theresa, what are you talking about?" she can hear her father's voice, and the happy tears roll down her cheeks again. "Alex is…. _gone_… she's not coming back, honey."

"Jerry, please, this **is** Alex." Theresa pleads him to believe her. "This **is** _my Alex_! I would **not** forget my daughter's crying!"

She can hear her father sigh. "Theresa, you need to get yourself back together. Our son is bringing his girlfriend home tonight. We can't act like this when they…."

She zones out on the rest of the talk, as she sits thunderstruck in her bed, the phone dropped to her lap.

Justin has a girlfriend?

Of course! Why did she even think that he would stay single forever? Of course he has a girlfriend he loves a lot. Of course he is bringing her home to his parents! Of course he is planning to marry her! Of course it's all over even before it began…

**(She. Will. Not. Call. Her. Home. Ever. Again. she. Doesn't. need. His. Girlfriend. answering. The. Call.) **

**

* * *

**

**A few months later **

She has been trying to forget her past life SO BAD. Every time the images appear, she turns on the TV and drives them away. **She is not thinking about him ever again**.

(Trying and succeeding are not synonymous though, and she still cries in the middle of the night, waking up from dreams of Justin's marriage.)

It is end of the school year, and she is eating breakfast with her family, sitting in her kitchen. (Since she is trying to forget her Russo life, she might just call these things hers as well.)

"What's the matter daddy?" she asks her father when she sees how unusually quiet he is being and how he is not discussing the news with her. (Yes, she discusses news with her father. Deal with it.)

Her father sighs, glancing at her mother who nods reassuringly. "We need to tell you something Alex."

She nods immediately.

"We need to move countries." Her father announces sadly. "I got a job transfer… we need to move to USA next month… we are settling down at New York."

Her mouth hangs open and she vaguely registers her parents talking about how they understand it is hard for her to leave all her friends and memories back and how bla bla bla .

_What the heck?_ Is destiny messing with her again?

* * *

She sits at the terrace, staring at the surroundings. She never noticed how the sun's rays glittered on her neighbor's wall, or how a weird shaped kite was stuck in the tree in her garden_…. Man, she is going to miss this place!_

She spends the last seven days at her home packing and crying, hanging out with her friends and hugging them to death. For the last three years, she had been so absorbed in her past life, she never appreciated her present.

She takes loads of pictures of her house in her cell phone. She packs all the photos from her school years, all the photos of her house, all the photos of everything that she never realized she was so attached to. She asks her friends to email her a hundred times a day, and threatens to kill them the next time she sees them if they don't. (She will see them again, right?)

She touches the blue walls of her room with her fingertips, imprinting their feel in her memory. She sits down on her bed, and clutches her pillows closer to her chest, feeling safe, feeling…. _at home_. (After sixteen years of living at a place, you DO call it home.)

She runs down the streets as much as she can, looking around everywhere and creating eternal memories in her mind. She says hi to that old woman in that house**. (She. Just. Cannot. Bring. Herself. To. Say. Goodbye.)**

On the last day, she gets dressed for her flight and stands in her room for one last time. As the lights are shut and the doors are locked and the cab takes off, she stares back at her house through the back window of the cab, promising to return there again some day…

_Some day…._

Right now, she is going back to the place she had wanted to be her entire life. She wipes her tears in new found thrill and excitement. There's that longing to see her parents, her brothers, her home again. There's that stubbornness not to talk to them, not to talk to Justin and his girlfriend. the pictures of Waverly Place replay in her mind, as she tries to anticipate the possible changes. And there's that battle in her heart again whether she should or should not visit her old family again.

She brushes that thought away. Because by now, she has figured one thing out: **Destiny will do what it wants, it will play with us in its own way. There's nothing one can do about it, so why bother thinking and planning? Life will go its way.** So Alex Russo is not spending her time at the flight sleeping instead of drawing on people's faces.

It's the circle of life. She's going back to the place where it all ended (started). She is going back to New York **once again. **

* * *

(A/N: hope you liked this. Please review! Who is excited for the next chapter?)

P.s. My grandma is critical now... I don't think I would be in a mood to write anything for some time if, God forbids, the worst happens. Please forgive me if I don't update. I just published what I already had written down.


	4. Ch 3: Shocking discovery

**Chapter 3: shocking discovery**

The plane lands at New York City, and like in all those trite movies, she can feel the ground shake and the wind blow at a furious speed as she puts her feet in the soil of the country and takes the first step towards her past.

Her mother gently nudges her to move forward and her father smiles at her. She takes in a deep breath, and starts walking.

_(It feels like Alex Russo is learning to walk, all over again.) _

* * *

She glances around the streets nervously and her heart throbs against her chest. She knows it's impossible to run into Justin in such a crowded city, but her mind doesn't buy it, and she is not sure whether her mind is full of hope or fear of meeting him.

Her eyes grow wide as they enter Waverly Place. Do they have to stay here, of all places?

_(There is that smell of magic in the air, and for the first time in 16 years, she can breathe properly.)_

* * *

She looks out of the window of their new apartment at night, and carefully observes the city, trying to bring back memories from her past life. It fails. She doesn't remember much about Waverly Place anymore.

She lived in New York till Theresa and Jerry divorced- 3 years roughly. But this is the place that she is connected with. **This freaking place bears her memories with Justin!**

She is not sure about the detailed map of the city. She is not sure about the address of the Waverly sub-shop. But she is sure she can find out, that someone will direct her to it. So at 1 a.m. at midnight, Alex has this sudden urge to run up to Theresa and hug her like there's no tomorrow.

She fights back the urge, pulls the jacket closer to her chest, and just stares out of the window. The city is buzzing with life and people, and she **knows**, her Justin is out there somewhere, somewhere in the midst of that crowd….

_(Some strange man calls the name "Miss Russo" when they were entering the apartment. She turns her head instinctively at her name, frantically looking around, to see a little kid walking up to the man, the man lifting her up and greeting her with a "How are you doing, Miss Russo?" And the freaking tears leave her eyes.)_

* * *

They decide to grab their breakfast from a restaurant, and a girl accidentally spills drink on her mother's dress. _(She totally does not remember how clumsy she used to be.)_

* * *

They are walking back home, when a man suddenly calls out to her father. "Que hora es?"

They don't understand; they simply blink.

"Triste". Alex mumbles. "No entiendo Spanish. Hablas ingles?"

The man shakes his head no. "Encantado de conocerla mucho gusto. Adios."

She nods with a smile, as the man leaves. Well, she still remembers _some_ Spanish. She can still manage.

Her parents stare at her, she just shrugs it off, and they don't ask any questions. _(She totally does not notice how much she resembles Justin in this life.)_

* * *

One week later, and she has almost learnt where the streets lead. Almost- New York is a big city. She can find the grocery and the library now. She thinks she is finally settling in.

_(She can hear the clock go tick tock every night, and her heart beats in rhythm with it, in rhythm with New York, in rhythm with Justin.)_

* * *

There's a nice guy named Chase who lives next door, and he dares her to go to a graveyard. Normally, she would have politely rejected the dare, but the Alex Russo side of her is slowly taking over, and she agrees.

It's only when she reaches the graveyard and notices it's the Russo family grave that she cringes.

She takes in a deep breath, enters it, and prepares herself to face her own gravestone.

She watches her gravestone in awe and wonder, suddenly having the urge to dig it open and figure out a way to get inside and sleep. _(It's not like she doesn't like this life. It's just useless without Justin.)_

When her eyes leave her gravestone and fall on the next one, they nearly bulge out of her skull. She stares at it, until she feels her eyes drift shut and her legs trembling. Her unconscious body hits the ground, and the world blurs.

* * *

Her parents scold her about her misadventure and hug her tightly, telling her how scared they were. She apologizes again and again, and promises not to go back to that graveyard.

* * *

Two days later, and she is back. She kneels down in front of that gravestone, and gently touches it with her fingers.

"No…no… Justin. You can't leave me!" The sobs escape her mouth, as she reads his name engraved on the stone. She closes her eyes shut, not willing to believe this.

She places the red roses on the grave and runs away as fast as her legs carry her.

* * *

She stares out of the window every night and cries. Justin is gone. She can't see him again. Suddenly, she's miles away from her destination.

**There comes a moment in your life, when everything that you ever believed in seems wrong, when you have to pause and think over every single detail of your life again, when you suddenly feel like everything is a lie, that nothing is going the way you want it to, that nothing is right and there's nothing you can do to change a thing. There comes a moment in your life when you question why you are even alive. For Alex, this was the moment.**

_(Her pillows are wet every morning, and her parents can't remember the last time they saw her smile.)_

* * *

She stands in front of the Waverly Sub-shop and stares at it. It's a miracle how her parents coped up with the loss of two children.

_(Jerry catches a hooded figure staring at his restaurant, and proceeds in its direction. She disappears faster than a transport spell.)_

* * *

She stares out of the window of her room, watching the city twenty stories down, and fights back the urge to make the jump that will end all her pain.

_(Heck. She'd come back again!)_

* * *

She reassures herself that since she is back, Justin is back as well, that she will meet him again.

**Love. Longing. Uncertainty. Hope. Faith. And an unthinkable yearning to meet Justin again. That is life for Alex. **

* * *

(A/N: forgive me about my horrible Spanish. I don't know a word of it. Just used random websites...Review please! Did this chapter surprise you? ON HIATUS till I get my grades back up.)


	5. Ch 4: My brother

**Disclaimer: I do not own wowp.**

**Chapter 4: my brother

* * *

**

School begins and she realizes that she is not interested in studies anymore; she is not interested in _anything_ anymore.

She listens to her i-pod all day, surfs the internet, watches TV- all her actions monotonous, emotionless, everything an effort to stop the memories and the pain.

(_Justin Bieber is on radio. Even the name reminds her of him.)_

_

* * *

_It's the first history class and a tall fat teacher with big ugly spects enters the class.

She faints.

* * *

There's water being splashed at her face, and she cringes and opens her eyes, mumbling a vague "I am alright."

She looks in front of her and stares at the teacher, in the same way that he is staring at her- dazed, confused, puzzled, shocked.

* * *

"I need to talk to you." The teacher says at the end of the class.

She nods and stays back.

When all the students leave and they are all alone, they stare at each other again, tears forming in her eyes, at the same time that his eyebrows crease in confusion. Finally, she jumps up and hugs him tightly. "Oh Maxie, I missed you so much!" she cries, tears escaping her eyes.

Max stumbles back, tenses, blinks for a few moments. "A-Alex?" he finally manages to stutter out, shock written all over his face and voice.

She pulls back, nods and smiles happily. He looks at her skeptically and studies her intently for a few moments and her heart beats so fast she thinks she might faint again. Finally, his eyes glitter with tears, and he pulls her into a hug, cries on her shoulders.

She cries too, with a smile on her face.

_(It's the happiest she has been in the last sixteen years.)_

* * *

"So, you are reborn?" Max asks, shaking his head.

She rolls her eyes and nods her head. _They will have to go through this again?_

"Wow… I am still not sure if I understand all of it…" Max confesses.

She chuckles. _It's still her Maxi million_, and that feeling is comforting.

"You should see mom and dad." He urges.

She shakes her head. "Not yet."

He raises an eyebrow in even more confusion.

"I am not ready." She states simply. Honestly, she is not quite sure why she isn't. Something somewhere at the back of her mind tells her that she should wait for Justin.

_(She still stands in front of the sub-shop and stares at it, stares at __**them.)**_

* * *

The students are all right. She's blending in.

There's a ripe tomato placed in her history teachers' chair, and when he sits on it, she doesn't get detention.

"You are Alex." He says instead, and the other kids chuckle, even without knowing what he really means.

_(Once her pranks are back, she does feel like Alex.)_

* * *

"I can't believe you are getting married." She ruffles his hair tenderly, like she used to, when they were still kids, and she was still a Russo.

"Me neither." Max says in amusement. "You should come to the wedding."

She shakes her head again. "Nah. Not yet."

He sighs sadly, and she sighs in defeat. When will her heart give her the green signal to see her parents again?

_(Her little brother grew up, and she wasn't there for him. She apologizes, and he assures her that it's not her fault, that she didn't have a choice. She hugs her pillow tightly and cries at night. She shouldn't have shouted at Justin for not being there for her.)_

* * *

Two months later, she is having phone conversations with her history teacher every day, and her parents are getting worried.

She invites him and his wife over for dinner with her family.

By the end of the night, her mother smiles, the new recipe written down in a piece of paper in her hand, and her father nods, looking up from the history book Max lent him.

* * *

She gets an A in history, and Max stares at her like she grew five heads. His eyebrows crease together in suspicion soon though.

"I didn't." she says simply.

_(When she finally tells him that she doesn't have magic anymore, he hugs her tightly and lets her cry. That night, she feels magical again. __**Family is magic.**__…)_

* * *

She is climbing down the stairs in a hurry, when she suddenly pauses, her eyes growing wide in realization. _She is skipping steps again! _**(And this time, she. Is. not. Going. to. Die.)**

* * *

Her allowance is increased, and she saves the extra money. For what? She is not sure, but she knows it's got something to do with Justin….

_(Max lends her his sandwiches every day, and she sniffles, taking in the smell and the taste of her mother's cooking after such long years.)_

* * *

"What happened to Justin?" she manages to ask one day after class, when she is fully convinced that she won't break down and cry after hearing the tale.

Max sighs, closes his eyes at the painful memory, and takes in a deep breath, readying himself to narrate. "His plane crashed. He died in the same day as you did. Isn't it such a great coincidence?"

She nods, vaguely aware of her surroundings, as her faith gets stronger.

**All these, just a miracle, just a co-incidence?**

* * *

She stares out of her window at night again.

"I will wait for you Justin." She whispers to the cold wind, gently urging it to pass the message to him.

_("I will never forget you Alex." Her mind's ear replays his promise.)_

* * *

(A/N: I am going to go with short and meaningful chapters in this story. I know most of you might not like it that Alex isn't meeting her parents yet, but there's a reason. You'll see in later chapters. Please review! **Justin will be there in the next chapter**! Who's excited? I already have it written down. Well, that's the last chapter I will update for a while. So yeah, **review for faster update.)**


	6. Ch 5: A glimpse of eternity

**Chapter 5: A glimpse of eternity**

Three months. Three months since she moved to New York. Three months of _nothingness._

She breaks down the moment the bathroom door shuts; leans her body against the cold, marble wall, trying to pretend that the warmth of Justin's body is spreading through hers, that his arms are around her, holding her tight, safe, secure, protected, comforted, that his hand rests on her head, stroking her hair gently, lovingly, soothingly, assuring her that it's alright.

Eyes open, tears flow, a whimper leaves her mouth.

_Nothing._

* * *

A tiring day at school and three hours of extra studying at the library later, her mother's call and scolding makes her decide to head back home. The backpack lies in her back, books thrusting against each other, the metallic pencil box dancing with her movement, sharp metallic geometrical instruments dancing inside it, and she knows that the fact she notices this cannot be good.

Fragmented pieces of memories play in her head like a movie trailer- random; only showing half of everything. Her footsteps slow down automatically as she reaches the stairs, and suddenly she looks around to study her surroundings. The hallway is empty, lit up by dim light that does nothing to defeat the dark shadow cast on her weary soul, no human in view, and the dull, boring walls seem to be laughing at her loneliness.

She covers herself with her arms, trying to protect herself from her own thoughts, and closes her eyes in defeat. Foots move on their own accord, not paying any attention to whether they land on the stairs or not- she simply does not care anymore.

And **once again** her foot slips, and she waits, waits for the fall, for the free trip to Hell this time. But what she feels instead is two strong arms wrapping around her. Her heart beats like a drum beating in victory, breath hitches like that of a person suddenly stung with a cold rod, stomach clenches in a weird way that she likes, goose bumps adorn her hands, a familiar shiver runs down her spine. Her eyes amplify into giant balls of saucers, face looking like she had just received an electric shock, and oh my gosh, it's the same feeling again.

"Watch where you're going."

It feels like her blood starts to flow in the opposite direction at the sound of that all too familiar voice, and she closes her eyes, just so she does not pass out.

The hands leave her and when she turns around, she is greeted again by that mocking empty hallway.

"**Justin!"** she screams, running up the stairs desperately, as the fear monster shreds her heart into a million frightened pieces with its harsh claws.

The echo of her own words is her only answer.

_Nothing. _

* * *

She shuts her door with a tiny thud, clicks the lock, sinks to the floor, cries- it has become routine now. She tries to decide if she really just felt Justin holding her in his arms (her body screams 'yes', 'yes', 'yes', her mind screams 'please say yes!'), or if her mind is playing tricks on her.

The wind rattles the window, startles her, makes her jump up in fear. She is not afraid of ghosts. When she was two and he was four, he held her in his arms and protected her. He would not haunt her. He just haunts her mind, soul, life.

She runs her hands over the skin where he touched her, trying to find any trace of him.

_Nothing. _

She sighs, decides it's just her crazy mind, because a person cannot just suddenly appear and disappear like that! She closes her eyes, tries to-

"Why can't you just tell me where you were?" her mother screams in her living room, and she stirs up again.

"I said I was busy!" her father shouts back. "Do you need to know everything?" and oh gosh, no, they are not fighting!

She opens the door- slightly, tries to look at them.

"YES!" her mother yells.

"FINE!" her father yells back. "I was at the library in Alex's school."

"Oh." She can almost see her mother's eyes softening in understanding. "I am sorry honey; I'll just… go get you your juice."

"Thanks sweetheart."

She frowns, gets out of her room, the Justin thing suddenly forgotten, and crosses her arms over her chest. "You are lying."

"W-What?" her father stutters.

"I was in the library." She snaps. "You weren't there."

He sighs. "I know you were there, sweetie. I was looking over you…I saw you pouring over piles of history books… but I could see you were thinking of something else all the time. You would have seen me if you actually paid attention and lifted your eyes… what is going on Alex? You have been acting so weird ever since we came here... We are worried about you…"

She looks down at the ground, embarrassed, guilty. "I am fine… I…. I am sorry, dad." Then her mind gets an idea and a sudden question forms on her lips. "Hey dad, after I left, did you…umm… see anyone else?"

Her father pauses to think for a moment, and then nods. "Yeah, a kid did come to the library… almost popped in, which was weird… I think he just came by to return a book which was overdue or something like that."

The flickering hope in her chest suddenly seems to have received extra oil, and it starts burning brighter than ever. She storms into her room, reaches into her backpack, quickly grabs the photo which Max gave her and runs back to her father.

"Did he look like this?" she asks nervously.

Her father studies the boy with black hair and gray eyes in the 18 year old photograph with torn edges, and nods.

And she wants to break down and sob in relief and do a happy dance in the same time.

"What is a boy's photo doing in your room?" her father demands.

"What boy?" her mother inquires, glancing at the photo. "Oh, he's cute… wow. So it's just boy trouble, then? I am so glad honey… I was worried that you may have gotten into some kind of trouble."

Her mother hugs her, and she stands still, numb, shocked.

Her eyes fall on the picture again, and for the first time in her two lives, she catches a glimpse of eternity. For the first time in years, there's a concrete certainty in her heart, a determination more resolute than ever, a genuine smile on her lips, and she decides to do whatever it takes to trace him down, to find him **once again.**

**

* * *

(A/N: sorry for the late update. I re-wrote this chapter. Did you like it? Please review. Alex will get in-character as the story progresses.) **


	7. Ch 6: Nothing?

**Chapter 6: Nothing? **

For the next few months, she keeps looking for him frantically, searching here and there- everywhere in the school (except the gents restroom, of course). She even goes to the extent of asking every student, which is when Max interferes.

"Alex! What are you doing?" He hisses.

She rolls her eyes. "I am looking for Justin, duh!"

A long and deep sigh escapes his mouth, which kind of scares (terrifies) her, because this is Clueless Max, her little brother once upon a lifetime, and now, he is talking to her like she is some silly little kid who is trying to find a needle from a haystack. "Alex." He finally breathes. "I don't you… Justin isn't here. I would have known if he was. I have been teaching here for two years."

She shakes her head stubbornly, stomping her feet like a little child, and this catches the attention of a few passing students. "What?" she snarls at them, glaring. They trot away, and she rolls her eyes, tossing the empty juice can in the dustbin. "I think nosy teens will exist in all centuries, huh?"

He stares at her, titling his head, not liking this change of topic.

She sighs; finally feeling the exhaustion and anxiety of this unyielding search getting to her. "I will find him." she speaks with such conviction in her voice, that suddenly, she does not sound like a 16 year old girl anymore. "I will wait for him." 

She heads to the school library once school and detention is over. (She's got two detentions in one month. That's a huge improvement.) The librarian smiles at her hopefully, dusting cover off a book, subtly hinting that she wants her to read it.

And suddenly, Alex feels too tired to read a book. It would be so much better if someone just gave her a two page summary instead! She shakes her head, and allows a small smile to form on her lips. "Not Today, Miss. I am just looking around."

The librarian hides her disappointment and tries to smile again, but by that time, she's already gone.

She's standing in front of all the book stacks, as if Justin might be hidden in one of those books. Her fingers pick up a random book, and she opens the page which lists its borrowers. (What name should she search for? Is he even Justin now?) She keeps glancing at the door impatiently, hoping he would walk in any minute.

_Nothing. _

* * *

She takes English for the next semester. She sits in the back row, feeling the urge to zone out and sleep for a while. She puts her phone on silent mode (vibrations would still wake her up) and places her head on the desk.

"Did you hear who's taking English this semester?" the girl in the next seat asks, oblivious to her desire to sleep, and definitely an obstruction for the matter.

"No. Who? Mount Rushmore?" the sarcastic words leave her mouth, and she feels a bit better. She's still not as good (rude) as she used to be, but she'll get there, she'll get there soon.

"Justin." The girl answers, and she tenses in her seat, turns her head in curiosity. "Over there" the girl points. "He's a nerd. And a big kiss-up."

She sits up, narrows her eyebrows together in confusion and stares. Her Justin did used to have that sort of horrible, dorky hairstyle. She gets up, ignoring the 'sit down!' from the girl and walks over to him.

She takes in a deep breath, trying to breathe in his familiar scent. _Nothing._

With a heavy heart beating rapidly against her chest, she finally manages to tap him gently on the shoulder. He stops writing instantly, covers his pen with its cap, puts the papers back in the file (this dork does homework in class too?) and finally turns around to look at her quizzically.

Her mouth drops open, letting out a gasp of surprise. Those eyes, that nose, that face! Justin!

She smiles brightly, and waits, waits for some sort of recognition from his side, for some squealing, for some crying (like a little girl), for some expression of joy and relief.

_Nothing._

He stares at her, an annoyed frown on his face. "Do you want to borrow my notes after the class or something?" he asks carefully.

And that's when she gets that he doesn't remember her. He doesn't remember her anymore. He broke his promise. He forgot her.

She stands speechless, blinks back the tears in her eyes and manages to shake her head. "No." she mutters weakly, and walks back to her seat. He continues to look puzzled for a few more moments, and finally shrugs it off, returning to his work.

She sinks back in her chair in a strange sense of defeat. All these years of believing, hoping, praying, searching, waiting, all these for _nothing?_

* * *

(A/N: there you go. Leave me behind your thoughts and questions (: Thanks!)


	8. Ch 7: Say 'hi' to stranger

**Chapter 7: Say 'hi' to stranger**

She doesn't register anything that goes on in the class for the rest of the period. She just sits blankly and stares at Justin's back. Stares, stares, stares… as if he might jump up suddenly at that moment, turn around and smile at her, cry, laugh, cry, run to her and pull her into his arms.

_Nothing._

The class ends, and the teacher assigns a book report. That's when she gets an idea. She's held on too long and come too far to give up now. So she marches up to his seat again, and smiles at him.

"Hi, I am Alex." She sticks out her hand for him to shake.

He looks at her skeptically, and accepts. "I am Ju-just-just-"

She rolls her eyes out of habit. "Justin." She completes for him, and doesn't forget to register the fact that she made him stutter. "Nice to meet you Justin."

"Nice to…meet you too." He smiles back up at her.

The other kids laugh and leave, finding the situation very amusing. Justin clearly didn't do well in the girl-department.

Yeah, she'd have to do all the talking and mingling. "So… do you mind if I borrow your notes?"

His face falls in disappointment, and she realizes that was a bad move- he probably thinks all she is interested is in his notes. "I am kidding." She assures fast. "I just thought, you know… we should hang out together sometimes." She says flatly- discretion was never really an Alex-Russo thing.

His face beams up with the familiar goofy grin (that she missed). "Sure… and maybe I can show you my action figures?"

She wants to bang her head at the desk and hug him tightly at the same time, but she does none. Instead, she just smiles. "Not likely, buddy." She admits, patting his back.

"So… I will see you around?" he asks awkwardly, picking up his bag.

"Yeah, sure." She replies quickly, and smiles again. There's this urge to place a small peck on his lips, but it's too soon, and he'd freak out, so she restrains herself. Barely.

"Bye, Alex." He says, and leaves the room, and suddenly, she feels like she's gone back to the past, to the moment he left- to a few moments before her- their death.

"Justin, wait!" she calls after him without thinking, and runs.

He turns around and eyes her quizzically.

She curses herself under her breath- she is becoming impulsive once again, and look- she just got into trouble for not thinking it through! "I didn't… I don't have your number." She's blunt with her words again. (By now, he has probably figured out that she lives in the opposite pole of shyness.)

He looks taken aback for a moment, until he starts looking smug. "My number, huh?" he attempts for a smooth tone, but fails. (Oh God, he's trying to flirt with her!)

She rolls her eyes again, grabs a student passing by, snatches a paper from her hand, mutters a half-hearted 'thank you', grabs a pen from another- no 'thank you' this time, writes down her number and hands it to Justin. "Call me any time."

And since she remembers Harper saying something about 'never let the guy think you're too into him', she smiles and leaves before he can speak.

* * *

She's happy for the rest of the school day. She tells Max, and he doesn't believe her. So, she tricks him into a ten dollar bet and spends the break time deciding what to do with the money when she wins.

It's only after she's home that the anxiety crawls into her. What if he doesn't call? What if he doesn't contact? What if he's not into her?

She brushes the thoughts aside, sits on her bed, and starts typing the book report on her laptop. (She's read tons of books already. She just needed to pick one and write on it.)

_Beep._

She never thought a tiny sound like that could make her act so jumpy. She reaches for her cell phone in two seconds, and reads the text. It's that same falling-in-love feeling that she felt the last time (life), and she likes how her hearts beats uncontrollably under her chest.

"_Need help with the book report? - Justin"_

Her fingers type 'yes' too quickly, hit the send button, and reach for the delete button on her laptop screen. (Who needs an A when you get the guy you like?)

He calls almost instantly- and she picks up soon too.

"Nice caller tune." He compliments her, and she immediately remembers her brother's horrifying alien language league caller tune. ("Good thinking Justin- that would drive all the girls away." She used to tease.)

"Thanks." She bends her legs over her comforter, and gets comfortable. "So, ummm… you wanna help me with my report?"

"Yeah, of course." He says quickly, and then seems to have afterthoughts as he gulps audibly. "I mean, only if you want my help…."

"I do." She says quickly, and she totally did not just picture her saying this somewhere in a bright future, dressed in a lovely white gown.

He clears his throat. "So... which book did you pick?"

She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. "I didn't pick."

"Okay." He seems to think. "How about 'war and peace'?"

"Hmm…" she hums. "That would work- if I had to submit the report in the next decade."

He fidgets at her snarkiness. "Okay… you need a thin book, right?"

"Hmmm…" she hums again. "Not necessarily."

"Huh?" she can tell he's frowning, and she still loves the fact that she still has this power over him.

"What if _you_ do the book report for me?" she asks, cautiously waiting for his reply.

His voice squeaks in panic. "That's cheating."

She rolls her eyes again. When would his morals leave Justin? "I know, duh!"

He sighs. "Look, let's just go to the library and-"

"-I hate library." She cuts him off.

"I saw you coming down from the library that day!" he protests. And wow, they are talking like they know each other for years! (They do- he doesn't remember.)

And why _did_ she forget about that? "Just because I go there doesn't mean I don't hate it!" she covers for herself. "The librarian wanted to give me some book. I barely managed to escape!"

He chuckles, relaxing again. "Why don't you just pick that book?"

She snorts- letting him see her unladylike side. "We don't even know what book it is, genius!"

"I trust the librarian's choices." He assures. "Just pick it. I will help you out, and you'll get good grades."

"How do you know that?" she scoffs.

"Because it's you and I. How can we not?" he says, and then suddenly seems to freeze. Memories rush back to her mind, and she wonders if he recalled something too.

"I gotta go." He says, and his voice has changed, the calmness gone, and it sort of freaks her out. "Bye Alex."

He doesn't even wait for her response before he hangs up, and great, she is back to her confused state again!

She spends the rest of the evening thinking and thinking. Are memories coming back to Justin? He did promise he'd never forget her. And Justin always keeps his promises.

"I will wait for you Justin." She nods her head firmly.

**

* * *

(A/N: Life's great. Living the dream because of you guys… So here's an update and a Thank you :) Reviews, please?) **


	9. Ch 8: Date

**Chapter 8: date**

The next day, he ignores her.

She calls his name; he pretends he doesn't hear her. She waves at him; he pretends that he doesn't see her. (She knows he's pretending, she's used to that uneasy, confused look in his eyes.)

It hurts. It hurts a lot. It stings, burns, bleeds her skin, her flesh, her bones- her whole being, till it reaches her soul and scorches it.

Her mind clouds with a hundred questions, confusions and doubts. Why is he not talking to her today? Is he mad at her or something? Or did he remember some fragments of his past life that may not bear good memories of her?

She knows she needs to talk to him about this, but somehow, she decides against it. Instead, she leans against the bathroom wall and cries it out. She cries, putting her own arms around herself, and wishing it was he instead.

The shrill ringing of school bell brings her out of her dazed state, and she wipes at her tears clumsily, grabs her backpack and heads back home.

She pauses on her way, near the sandwich shop, when she sees Jerry and Theresa trying to pick up tomatoes from all corners of the floor. The comical beauty of that scene brings a smile to her lips, and she takes a deep breath firmly.

Something takes over her entire being- some strong will, some strange determination, some sudden urge.

She walks inside the shop, ignoring the voice at the back of her head that wishes Justin was there too, picks up two tomatoes, and hands them to Theresa.

"Thank you! We were-" Theresa's eyes widen when she notices the person in front of her, and she stumbles backwards automatically. "_Mi hija_!" she gasps. "_Milagro_!"

"Theresa, what are you-" Jerry stands beside her, and gasps too.

Alex stares at her then-parents expectantly, a nervous smile on her lips, anxiety on every breath. When she sees that they are too shocked to speak, she speaks herself. "Hey… _mom_, hey _dad_. It's me… Alex! For real! See!" she takes her mother's hand in hers, and makes her touch her skin.

Theresa gasps again, but still stands speechless.

Alex gulps, anticipating their reactions and picturing all the different ways this may go. Memories flash in her mind again- sweet, happy moments- there's not a single thing she wouldn't do to get back to that life!

Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence can be the most bloodcurdling language sometimes.

"Is it really you?" her father asks skeptically.

"Yeah." Max yells excitedly from upstairs, wearing his shirt inside out (oh Maxie!) "It _is_ Alex! That's her!"

Alex winces dramatically at his high pitch. "Max!" she yells back.

Max shrugs and pops himself downstairs. He puts an arm around their mother, and reassures, "It _is_ your daughter Alex."

And then she is being attacked with hugs and kisses and crying. They tell her how miserable they were without her, how they always prayed that she would come back somehow.

"My baby-girl." Jerry cries out.

"I missed you too, dad." She tries not to cry.

Her mother smiles. "We missed you too, honey."

* * *

When she's home after shedding hundred tears, listening to thousand stories, eating baskets of food and promising to visit them every day, she's incredibly happy- she should have done this a long time back. She's relieved too- thank goodness they did not start talking about Justin!

She sighs happily, takes off her boots (and how she misses her wand!), places her backpack on her bed, unties her hair from her ponytail, takes off her wrist watch. She takes out her cell phone from the jeans pocket, and notices 15 missed calls.

From Justin.

Oh. So now he decides to talk to her!

She throws the phone on the bed and curls up with the blankets, smiling happily. She dials the number, waits for him to answer her call.

He doesn't.

And she totally does not feel devastated. She's faced defeat a many too times, and this is really nothing- by now she knows that no matter what happens, she just has to keep going.

What she actually feels is anger. Justin is SO going to pay for this!

He calls back after five minutes.

She contemplates about whether she should answer it or make him suffer, but really, love can make you such weakling, it can shatter you stubbornness so much. "Hey."

"Hey Alex." he sighs in relief. "Sorry I didn't answer your call. I was talking to my little brother." He explains before she can even ask (demand).

"Oh." She relaxes. "You have siblings?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "Just a little brother… he's ten now."

"That's…. nice." She says, remembering how it felt like to have a little brother. (A full-grown man with big fat spectacles doesn't qualify as little anymore, even if he is still as clueless (dumb) as ever.) "So…." She trails. "Why did you call me?"

"Umm, right." He fidgets- she just knows it from that squeaky tone of his voice, the same tone he always used when panic was setting into his mind. "Are you mad at me?"

She grins. Finally life has given her a chance to mess with Justin (again). "Why will I be mad at you, Justin?" she says it with such venom in her voice, with such mock sweetness, he just knows he's in a lot of trouble.

"Look, I am really sorry for ignoring you at school today." He says. "But there was a good reason…"

"What reason?" she challenges.

He sighs in defeat. "I…. I can't tell you…..I am sorry… I wish I could…. But I can't."

She hangs up. She doesn't even think twice. Justin not being able to tell her something just hurts her somehow. She always thought she was the closest to his heart, that he would always tell her everything, and seeing that this life has changed that just bugs her. This is NOT acceptable!

He calls again immediately. She calms down just enough to answer. "What?"

"I am sorry, Alex." he's begging by now. "Please don't be mad at me. Please."

The thing is, this is Justin. And she loves him, even if she spent (wasted) an entire lifetime proving it to be otherwise, and it's not easy (possible) for her to stay mad at him now. "Fine." She gives in. "But you'll have to make it up to me." she adds, ever the sneaky devil.

"Deal." She can almost see the goofy grin in his face as well as the skeptical look in his eyes. "What do you want?"

"You pick." She's being generous. "My book report, or dinner and a movie." And wow, she just asked him out! (So what if she's rushing? If it was up to him, they'd be stuck here forever.)

"Umm…. Sure." He bites his lips. "Dinner and a movie? Friday night?"

She shrugs. "Sounds good…"

"It's a…" he stutters, hesitates, takes in a deep breath, and just goes for it. "It's a date?"

She's totally not freaking out in happiness! "Yeah, sure… talk to you later, bye Justin."

She _has to_ hang up too quickly, because she needs to get off the bed, squeal and do the happy dance. Yes! Yes! Yes! She's finally got a date with Justin!

He hangs up and jumps up and down too. There's something about Alex that just draws him to her, something about her smile, her eyes, her voice- her _name_. She just makes him feel so safe, so comfortable, so at-home, as if he'd known her his entire life (and before.) He smiles all day… "Alex…"

* * *

She introduces him to Max the next day, skipping the past life thing of course, watches Max's jaw drop, takes the money she won in the bet (and steals some more), and marches around happily for the rest of the day.

"So…" she really doesn't know how to tell this to Max, but she knows she has to do it soon. "I am going out with Justin this Friday." When in doubt, blurt it out- works every time.

She watches him carefully, cautious about the possible upcoming screaming, yelling, look of disbelief or words of disappointment, but he simply shrugs.

"Max!" she yells in frustration. "You're not listening to me?"

"I am!" he protests. "You said you're going out with Justin…" she tilts her head and wait, and he's eyes widen slowly, and he gets it. "You mean, going out- going out?"

She rolls her eyes and digs her nails.

"But Alex!" his voice is a bit high now. "He's your brother!"

"He _was_ my brother." She corrects, and God, no, please, no! She just _can't_ lose her family again!

He sighs heavily. "Fine… if that's what makes you happy."

And she is hugging him more tightly than she has ever done before. "Thank you so much Maxie…"

He smiles. "Anytime…"

"I actually do need one more favor." She grins sheepishly, bats her eyelashes and acts cute.

"Yeah?" he's already backing away in fear. (Not fair! It's not like she's asking him to jump off Eiffel tower! That was one time! And another life.)

She takes in a deep breath. "I need you to tell this to mom and dad… I can't face them."

* * *

When you're hanging out with Justin, teasing, fighting and making fun of him, life does seem good and time does pass fast.

"I had a great time, Alex." he smiles at her dreamily.

"Me too." She assures sweetly, before she scoffs. "Yeah, right. Like I'd ever say that out loud."

He scoffs, shaking his head. "I'll see you tomorrow then…. I'll call you."

She needs to charge her cell phone every day now, and she doesn't even mind!

* * *

"So…." She's so nervous to face Max the next day; she didn't even get a bit of sleep last night. "How did it go?"

Max smiles at her reassuringly. "Well, they were shocked at first, but…. Yeah, they are kind of happy as long as you are happy… I guess they are so happy to get you back that they don't really care about anything else…"

She's never felt more relieved in her life.

Max looks at her seriously. "They want to meet Justin."

And so much for relief. "Why?"

He sends a pointed look at her direction.

"Yeah, I know they want to meet their son." She snaps. "But… I am scared…. I am scared to even think of the freaking out…"

"Mom and dad won't freak out." Max assures.

"I am not talking about mom and dad!" she snaps. "I am talking about Justin…. He doesn't remember anything…. What if they freak him out?"

Max pauses to think for a moment. "Fine, I'll make sure they don't. Just give me back my wallet now, please!"

She grins evilly. Alex Russo is back, baby!

**

* * *

(A/N: whoa! Long! This took a lot of effort and time… and a lot of sneaking out of studies during exams. "I am practicing for my test mommy." Man, Alex Russo is rubbing onto me! XD anyways, one more chapter and epilogue left. So let's finish this soon?)**


	10. Ch 9: Memories, right, wrong, guilt

**Chapter 9: memories, right, wrong, guilt. **

She's not sure if she has ever been this conscious about how she looks. She had picked out the dress and accessories long back, but she still takes three hours to dress up, paint her nails, do her hair, apply flawless make-up.

Her mother snaps a picture soon- it's the first time she's going out on a date, and that too looking so beautiful- this would be considered a historic event if she was a famous person.

He picks her up, and is so stunned by her beauty that he is speechless. His eyes never leave hers, and they hold hands. He plays with her hair throughout the first half of the movie, staring at her, not paying any attention to the movie, and she has grown just so damn impatient, that during the second half, she just grabs his face and pulls him down for a kiss.

He gasps, taken by surprise, but quickly kisses back. It's messy, and clumsy, just like first kisses always are, and nothing like she dreamt it would be, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

When they pull back to breath, he's still grinning like a goofball. She doesn't take him to the sub-station that day- she just can't, can't, can't take the chance, can't ruin anything right now.

("I am really sorry mom." "It's okay Alex… maybe some other day?")

* * *

It's been one month now, and she is starting to feel a little uneasy, the kind of feeling you get before something terrible is about to happen, and she decides it's because this was the time when she lost him in their last life.

That doesn't mean that she's not enjoying every moment with him, though. She has just one word for it all- _bliss._

* * *

He grabs her hand and pulls her to an empty space near the lake. "I need to tell you something." He speaks, fidgeting.

And she knows it's either "we should break up" or "I think I love you", and she's not sure if she really wants to hear it.

"What? That sin A plus B is sin A Cos B + nobody cares about a stupid formula?" she mocks.

He glares at her. "Remember that one day I was ignoring you and I didn't tell you why?"

She nods. How can she ever forget that?

"Well", he swallows, looking away. "That was because it wasn't me… I had sent my clone to school that day… and he didn't know you, so…"

He waits for her reaction, and she blinks, blinks, blinks. "Yup, you've been reading way too many comic books, geek." She concludes, smacking his arm.

"No, no, no!" he protests immediately. "I am serious. It was my clone… well, not exactly a clone.. Technically, it's a duplicate… but what I am trying to tell you is…" he breaths in deeply. "I am wizard Alex."

Of course her eyes widen at the shocking revelation, because she was so not expecting this! She pauses to think back, and it just all seems to fit perfectly. So that was why she thought he was popping in the first day she met him near the library!

"Alex!" he's freaking out visibly.

Once again, she resists the urge to mess with him further. "Okay…. That's… good, Justin." (And maybe she misses her magic a little bit, but whatever.)

He sighs in relief, and sits down on a bench, pulling her with him. "There's more…."

"Yeah…?" she's actually scared now.

"Wizards can't marry mortals." She does know that already. "So…" he pauses to scan her face once. "If I say I am ready to give up my powers to marry you, would you go steady with me?"

And wow, he is talking about marriage at the age of sixteen (isn't that when boys still play videogames?) and using million year old words like 'go steady', yet, instead of teasing him relentlessly, she can feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh Justin!" and she's hugging him, because she's not sure if she is capable of doing anything right now, and she just feels like she might pass out if she is not close enough to him.

He smiles, huffing in relief. "I know it's too soon to say this, but…. I love you Alex."

She gasps. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you actually said it! I love you too Justin…. I love you, so, so much!"

And they are kissing again, and really, he is everything she ever wanted (to be).

_("I am jealous of how smart, and how kind, and how nice you are…")_

* * *

She's nervous, scared, terrified- you can use all the adjectives and all their synonyms but it will still not describe how scared she is. She's taking Justin to the sub-station, and while on one hand she has hope that maybe, maybe, maybe he'll remember, on the other hand she's also scared of his reactions if he does, and then of course she is worried about their parents 'oh my baby boy!' antics. (Honestly? She doesn't really blame them. And she isn't annoyed either. Just… scared. Okay?)

He walks in, looks around, freezes in his track. His eyes are different now, gleaming with something foreign yet familiar, and she is almost, almost sure that he remembers.

And then he's up the stairs, straight into his old apartment, straight into his old room.

When she reaches him and sees the tears in his eyes, she just knows- knows he remembers.

Okay...

* * *

"We missed you so much!" their parents hug attack him too.

"I missed you too." His voice is tear-filled, nostalgic, and there's something else in his eyes when he looks at her, something she's not sure she likes….

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me I am your brother?" he's yelling at her when they are all alone. Wow.

She winces. "Justin, calm down. I couldn't tell you, okay? I mean, think about it! I would have sounded crazy! You wouldn't have believed me!"

"Yes I would have!" he yells back. "I believe every word you said…. Why wouldn't I believe this Alex?"

She's finally feeling like she's losing him. "Justin…" the tears leave her face. "I am sorry."

He sighs, wraps her in a hug, and she clings on to him in fear of his next words. "This is wrong Alex…. and you knew it."

"I can't help it!" she cries. "I love you! I always have, I always will…. Besides, you are not my brother anymore. And mom, dad, Max are cool with this too…"

"Hmm?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Well, not exactly cool…" she admits. "But at least they don't mind or something… Please don't end this, Justin, please!"

He thinks, thinks, thinks, feeling her heart beat against his chest, her breath tickle his neck, and for once, he listens to his heart. "I love you too Alex… I always have…longer than you think."

**

* * *

(A/N: done. I know it's rushed, but I REALLY need to get back to being just a nerd, and I hate updating rarely because I know how anxious it makes you feel… so... Just epilogue left. Review?)**


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue- ten years later**

_"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essense."- Vincent van Gogh_

* * *

She finally has answers to all her questions. She has learnt that he was in love with her in the last life too. She finally has a happy life with a loving husband and two annoying kids.

"So I bought this house in this country…" he's nervous, and only he knows why. "I was wondering if you wanna go for a family vacation?"

She smiles happily while their kids yell. "Sure."

* * *

And only when she's there, in her old country, in the old town where she grew up in this life, does she realize that Justin has bought back the old house where she grew up.

"Justin…" forming words to express her feelings was never her strong point. So she kisses him.

And the kids whine and utter words like 'ew', 'gross', 'mommy!' but they still don't care. They are back, and together, and everything's alright. That's all that matters now.

He wipes her eyes and takes her hand. She breathes in deeply, prepares herself to take a step into that house- **once again**.

* * *

_"Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end."- Germaine De Stael_

* * *

**(A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this. Thanks to all of you who have been reading/reviewing/favoriting/ alerting. I love you guys! Please leave me behind your final reviews/comments/thoughts! And no, no new stories from me. Just updates on 'holocaust' and one-shots now and then. Life's busy.)**

**Off-topic: I was going through my twitter and noticed how people are unfollowing David Henrie just because he unfollowed Selena. Really guys? Who gave us the right to judge who's fault it is (if it is anyone's fault at all) and that too, without knowing anything about what might have happened? I love Selena (following her facebook, not twitter though) and I am also a crazy David shipper. So here's my appeal to you guys: please stop being judgmental! They have been friends for YEARS, through thick and thin. Whatever might have happened, it's their personal thing. If we are their true fans, how can we change in just a second? **SO, PLEASE, THINK ABOUT IT, AND STOP UNFOLLOWING DAVID AND BLAMING IT ALL ON HIM WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE SITUATION!..**. yeah, fangirl venting, but I always believe in standing up for the people I love.  
**


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